Fergus Sugarplum Sandwich
What? Everybody yawrns.

What? Everybody yawrns.

This weekend, my BFF Olive and I ganged up on this lippy lab puppy. He thought he was the boss, but he was so wrong. We told him all about how wrong he was … And then chased him a little extra for good measure. Frenchie power!

This weekend, my BFF Olive and I ganged up on this lippy lab puppy. He thought he was the boss, but he was so wrong. We told him all about how wrong he was … And then chased him a little extra for good measure. Frenchie power!

Sometimes I have the energies and hafta beat up my bed. Today was one of those days. 

Sorry I’m not sorry!

Sometimes I have the energies and hafta beat up my bed. Today was one of those days.

Sorry I’m not sorry!

You want to give me your bagel. You 100% want to give me your bagel. Can you feel yourself wanting to bagel me? Oh yes … That is want you want. Trust … 

… Crap … I blinked. You’re prolly not hypnotized. Dang it. 

Bagel? Please?

You want to give me your bagel. You 100% want to give me your bagel. Can you feel yourself wanting to bagel me? Oh yes … That is want you want. Trust …

… Crap … I blinked. You’re prolly not hypnotized. Dang it.

Bagel? Please?

Because only jerkfaces don’t smile for the camera. Amayeright?

Because only jerkfaces don’t smile for the camera. Amayeright?

The beach is basically my favorite thing ever. Even though water is scary. I like strutting and rolling in sand. I like finding crunchy things in the sand — like crabbies and seaweeds and sometimes even more exciting things! — and pouncing on little kiddies who are sitting in the sand. They’re so deliciously pounce-able!
I love all of those things so much that I don’t even mind when sometimes I get sand in my eyes. No biggie. 

The beach is basically my favorite thing ever. Even though water is scary. I like strutting and rolling in sand. I like finding crunchy things in the sand — like crabbies and seaweeds and sometimes even more exciting things! — and pouncing on little kiddies who are sitting in the sand. They’re so deliciously pounce-able!

I love all of those things so much that I don’t even mind when sometimes I get sand in my eyes. No biggie. 

Nevermind my slightly dirty face. Nevermind my droopy jowls. This is about the message I’m sending … straight to your heart. In wink form. 

Nevermind my slightly dirty face. Nevermind my droopy jowls. This is about the message I’m sending … straight to your heart. In wink form. 

… I forgive her for not sharing her cookie.

… Mostly …

… I forgive her for not sharing her cookie.

… Mostly …

No words necessary down here. I’ve said everything that needs saying. But you just go on ahead and finish that whoooole cookie and don’t even feel like a jerkface about it. Hmph.

No words necessary down here. I’ve said everything that needs saying. But you just go on ahead and finish that whoooole cookie and don’t even feel like a jerkface about it. Hmph.

Look … I’m here for you. 
Here. Like … here on the couch. Like … whenever you want to sit down already and get our cuddle on, you’re going to find me right here … on the couch … waiting. 
Because … I’m here for you. Right. Here. 

Look … I’m here for you. 

Here. Like … here on the couch. Like … whenever you want to sit down already and get our cuddle on, you’re going to find me right here … on the couch … waiting. 

Because … I’m here for you. Right. Here. 

Hey Gurrl, 

You look like you’ve had a long night. Want me to rub your feet? Bring you a cup of tea? Share some kibble with you?

Get it?!? I’m Ryan Gosling! I was doing an impression. I’m hecka tallented. Happy New Year!

Hey Gurrl,

You look like you’ve had a long night. Want me to rub your feet? Bring you a cup of tea? Share some kibble with you?

Get it?!? I’m Ryan Gosling! I was doing an impression. I’m hecka tallented. Happy New Year!

Dude Person is back. AWESOME! He knows where Fort Funston is, and to celebrate our reunion, he took me and Lady Person there. It’s like a dog park and a beach got together and made a beautiful beach-dog-trail baby. Wonderful. 

And I went rogue at one point because I totally got distracted by this American bully puppy. Lady Person basically lost it trying to find me, but I was right there on the beach playing with my new bully buddy. What’s the big deal? Calm down, Lady Person. Sheesh! 

What an adventurous day!

Dude Person is back. AWESOME! He knows where Fort Funston is, and to celebrate our reunion, he took me and Lady Person there. It’s like a dog park and a beach got together and made a beautiful beach-dog-trail baby. Wonderful.

And I went rogue at one point because I totally got distracted by this American bully puppy. Lady Person basically lost it trying to find me, but I was right there on the beach playing with my new bully buddy. What’s the big deal? Calm down, Lady Person. Sheesh!

What an adventurous day!

Is it time for the New Year’s Eve party yet? Because I’m all dressed up and ready for it. I have three resolutions (all of which involve me getting more kibble),two stories that illustrate the beauty of a year gone by, and one seriously champagne hankering. 

Bring it!

Is it time for the New Year’s Eve party yet? Because I’m all dressed up and ready for it. I have three resolutions (all of which involve me getting more kibble),two stories that illustrate the beauty of a year gone by, and one seriously champagne hankering.

Bring it!

What do you mean, I can’t have a promotion? I help you work every single day — by keeping your lap warm, by encouraging arm, wrist, and hand flexibility, by inspiring you with my snorts, snores, and cuteness.
So I think I should get a promotion. Chief Fuzziness Officer? Executive Director of Treat Distribution? Vice President of Snuffles?
This is my negotiating face … 
… Maybe we can put a pin in this discussion and pick things up after you’ve had a chance to really look into these big, beggy eyes. 

What do you mean, I can’t have a promotion? I help you work every single day — by keeping your lap warm, by encouraging arm, wrist, and hand flexibility, by inspiring you with my snorts, snores, and cuteness.

So I think I should get a promotion. Chief Fuzziness Officer? Executive Director of Treat Distribution? Vice President of Snuffles?

This is my negotiating face … 

… Maybe we can put a pin in this discussion and pick things up after you’ve had a chance to really look into these big, beggy eyes. 

So … We should probably talk about Xmas. You might not remember, but I have been a REALLY good boy this year. Like, epically good. Like, I should probably get some kind award on top of whatever amazing present you and The Santa have in store for me. 

It doesn’t have to be BIG. But it should probably be as good as I’ve been … That’s all I’m saying. 

Should be log on to Amazon now? Or later?

So … We should probably talk about Xmas. You might not remember, but I have been a REALLY good boy this year. Like, epically good. Like, I should probably get some kind award on top of whatever amazing present you and The Santa have in store for me.

It doesn’t have to be BIG. But it should probably be as good as I’ve been … That’s all I’m saying.

Should be log on to Amazon now? Or later?